A not so happy valentine...Emery Jean

We have had a rough couple of days...Emery has been throwing up so bad it comes out her nose, which has happened many times before, but the past two times she has quit breathing and turned blue. It is horrible and so scary. I am afraid to let her sleep without me. Last night After I put the girls to bed, I was praying and i was saying an extra special one for Em and I heard her on the monitor. She wasn't choking she just made a different sound unlike her usual billygoat grunt. I had a bad feeling and jump out of bed. She had only spit up a little and before I could pick up a burp rag, She vomitted everywhere. She wasn't breathing. And I just kept slapping her on the back like you are supposed to at a downward 45 degree angle. She still wasn't breathing and was a dark shade of blueish purple. I screamed for derek who was asleep. I normally keep my calm, but this was the longest she had ever gone without breathing and it wasn't like i could give her breaths because their was milk in her nose and throat. I was bawling. I panicked. And she started to breath. What if I wouldn't have gotten some motherly intuition and been in there before she even started choking? I'd rather not think about it. I don't think emery's medicine is working well enough. I feel so bad for her. How scary it must be for HER scared wanting to take in a breath and being unable to. Horrible! Well on a lighter note, valentine's day wasn't all bad, Derek and I went out with some friends it was nice. But I missed the girls the entire time. And I kept worrying about emery. I hope it doesn't happen anymore.