May 29th, 2008

Miss this face or what? I am finally getting the nursery set up! And while doing so I found my camera battery charger!
I got my hair cut Tuesday by Syd before she moved to Costa Rica. I am a brat and will only go to her. So I am sad she is gone. we cut so much hair! we thinned the heck out of it and took and inch and half off. it needed it bad!!! My hair is so thick it is unmanageable. Now I can actually do things with it.
So I was thinking. Derek and I were going to go with my parents originally to Hawaii this year. They planned it forever ago. Then I got preggo and there was no way we could afford it let alone leave the girls for a whole weak. I would go into convulsions or something I am sure. haha
Anyway at first I was really bummed. But thinking about it. They had 7 beautiful fun days in Hawaii and I have a whole life with 2 beautiful fun children. I so got the better deal. :) I found these pictures on my camera. I don't think i have ever posted any from the hospital except my first post. They were so little. and fragile. My wittle babies. This is even a few weeks into it. How time flies. Jaxon is turning one. My girls will be 7 months in a few days. I can't believe it.
Emery with Derek doing skin to skin. And Ev and I doing it. It helps them develop and feel loved.
Teeny peanut baby.
Our first family photo. We were able to figure it out to where the cords and tubes would reach. I love this picture even though you can't see the girls.
My dad, papa, and the girls I think this pic is hilarious. This is a little old.
Nana and Em on mother's day.
Derek and Ev on mother's day.
Ev trying to feed herself. It was so funny.

Well there is your fix for now ya'll. Still no phone. and no i pod. I could cry.

Memorial Day weekend blues:(

No more ipod. Yesterday at lagoon Derek didn't lock the car. My ipod and adapter got stolen. All my music and def poetry jam. gone.


no more phone.




On Friday my phone got left at the outlaw. Then no one turned it in. Someone stole it. The only picture I have of the first time I ever held emery. the only picture. lost.


Tonight is Tegan and Sarah and Death Cab. My favorites. And I can't go. Worst weekend ever. At least my girls are healthy and safe.

But still. I am pouting.

Saturday Boating at Pineview.

Taylor is such a good auntie!!!
Stephanie. The cousin.
cute!
not so cute. haha

Granpa great.
It was so pretty out!


And then. The boats water pump went out after only seven minutes of fun on saturday. Sad stuff! We had to get pulled back to shore. Hopefully next time will be more fun! Cann you see the smoke?

Jax!

Jaxon is turning one soon!
I took a few pictures of him to send with invites!
these were my favs. I know I am no Courtney. I wish, it was so fun!
Even though the girls were being so grumpy! These were their only smile!

Last night I went to Cortney's Dance Recital and she did so awesome! She made me and her mom cry! Not even miss preggo Dev cried. I am a boob! Good job Cort!

Pictures And Rant. 2nd post sorry!

having fun with daddy!!


Ha ha dirty hands...
And toe jam! Her toes make me laugh...
She looks like daddy here. I can see him in her...
Emery is a slobber doll!
I love this one!
I have been playing with Trish's camera. maybe one day i will be as good as Courtney!
And really quick I had some one tell me on mother's day of all days that I am too protective. And It took everything in me to just say "well they are my kids and i can be as protective as i want"


I don't care who the hell thinks i am too protective. I am certain everyone that thinks or has thought that never had one or TWO children premature and in the hopsital. Also born in the winter. Where every doctor adn nurse kept drilling me. Don't take them out. make people wear masks. no no no kids! Wash and sanitize. Don't pass them around. Their imune systems didn't get to finish developing. So get off your high horse and shut up already. THEY are mine. I suffered through the pregnancy, and labor of hell. And then I, ME ME ME, I had to wait 7 hours to touch Emery for the first time. And 24 hours to hold Ev. I am the one who threw up every single meal. drink anything every single day for 8 months. So yeah excuse me if i would like to ensure my kids stay healthy. how dare me huh?

Also April made a comment on her blog that pertains to this...
are YOU going to be there when my babies are screaming because they are sick?
NO

I AM!


So could you do me a favor and make sure your freaking kids wash their hands.
and one more thing...


SHUT UP!


whoa sorry. This has been bugging me for quite some time.

I no longer care what anyone else thinks.
I am a good mother.

Thursday News...

Look at those eyelashes!
He chews on everything!


Play Date today with Cash! Evelyn was sleeping but i got a few cute ones of Emery and Cash...Oh and Ev has started rolling over!:) Two days ago was her first time. From her back to belly. She mostly does it when she is upset. I try not to laugh. haha.

My wish.

"I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
and if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' 'til you find the window,
if it's cold outside,
show the world the warmth of your smile,
but more than anything, more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and always give more then you take."

Rascal Flatts


I keep thinking about this song. And my children. It makes me cry. still. everytime i read it. every. single. time.

Because now everything i used to wish for has changed. I only wish for them.

I hope they are compassionate. and forgiving. open minded. warm. inviting. but not too inviting. I hope they radiate beauty like i think I used to. I hope they become 9 times the woman I could ever be. And I hope they love. love love, even more than me.

I fear for them.

I fear this cynical, and harsh world around us. I hope it is still around. I hope they can feel God even when it's cold. I hope they know him like I do, But know that it is ok even if they don't. I want them to be fighters. And always tell it like it is.

Most of all I want them to love themselves. Their skin. Their minds. and hearts, broken or not. I don't want them ever to let men determine their worth. not ever. I hope they are so mighty that they don't NEED one. but just WANT one. And I know if they can do this they will be happy. and isn't that what every mother wants? Their children to be happy?

This is my wish.

Also if anyone gets the chance one of my favorite books ever. ever ever. Has a poem in it called daughter. Nygorician Cafe Poetry.

"I will teach her that her skin is the most beautiful dress she will ever wear"

My talented friend....

D's nieces... so cute!

D's sister and brother...


I think this is one of my favs....(above)

candid. so like my girls.
all the girls... no boys allowed...
Courtney did amazing and I can't wait til next month!